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  • Nov. 11th, 2009 at 1:07 AM

This may sound strange, but I never could remember my exact DOD (date of diagnosis). I knew it was sometime in November of last year, but I couldn't remember when. I thought it was later in the month, but I was going through my old blogs, which were on MySpace, and found out that it was much earlier. I was blogging like crazy then, sometimes several entries a day, so I was able to go through and find the entry I made after the first doctor visit where the first doctor said this was definitely cancer.

So the reason I am even writing anything is because that date was November 5, 2008. Which if course means that I have passed my year anniversary without even noticing. It struck me as odd, that such an important date has passed without any signs or celebrations. I was diagnosed over a year ago, and I'm still here. Still alive. Not really kicking, and missing some kinda important body parts that I mourn for every day, but I am still here.

I am still waiting for a more important anniversary. There are a few coming up, like the date I started my first chemo treatment, which was 12/26/08, but the most important one will be the date of my final surgery. It's important because it's the anniversary ff my amputation. A year without my leg. But it's also the anniversary of one year being cancer-free, which I think is absolutely more important. I am looking forward to that. With every year that passes, the chance of recurrence lessens, and I yearn toward that first milestone. I want to be there. But that is still four months away.

It has occurred to me that I would like to have all my blogs in one place, and I am thinking that maybe I would like to transfer all of my MySpace blogs over to LJ. It's more for myself and my own purposes, but it will also give those of you who are not on MySpace or not friends with me on MySpace to have access to those blogs. You may not want to read them, though. They are fairly dark, full of anxiety, depression and a little bit of anger. But if I add them I will definitely post an entry telling you about it, and every dark entry will have a warning. I can't do cuts, unfortunately, because the whole entries are the dark parts. :) It's the nature of the beast, I guess. Sometimes it was three or four times a day.

I just want to have them added so that they are in the same place as the rest of my blog. It's important for me to be able to have easy access to them for my own history. It's like a bruise; I have to poke at it even though it hurts. That time in my life, although it was painful, is still a part if me, and reflection is good for the soul.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Facebook

  • Nov. 9th, 2009 at 10:45 AM
Thus far I've avoided being on facebook. I never really had a myspace (I had one but it was only created b/c of wanting to see some pics on a friend's myspace and they were protected or somesuch). I've always in some manner or another had my "online life" since about 1997 or so. My first ever online journal was from 1999 with Diaryland and so forth from there.


I'm unsure what my hesitancy truly is with facebook. I think I would love to have one to, for lack of a better word, organize and stay in contact with my various online friends. But I know if i go on there other people will find me, or I'll want to search out other people and feel like I'm a weirdo stalker. Generally if i need to be a weirdo stalker I'll just use Google. ;)


I think it would be neat but I don't want to get absorbed into it. I have enough drama in my own life that I have to manage, let alone inviting in more. But admittedly I am curious about some people and have had no way to get into contact with them and maybe they are on the evil facebook.


I know I can pick and choose and have various privacy settings etc etc. Meh.

Endeavors

  • Nov. 9th, 2009 at 7:14 AM
I endeavor to treat each relationship I have as a separate entity. How I feel and how I behave in each one is unique in each case. Who I am, my identity, stays the same.

I endeavor to stay present in each moment, no matter what is happening or how unpleasant it is. This includes the stupid plank. Ugh.

I endeavor to attend to my goals somehow every day.

I endeavor to make time for my spirituality and self care through daily movement.

(On that note--I really do not believe in the concept of "not enough time." Of course time is limited, there are only so many hours in a day. But I do believe after much time spent with people that we can make time for just about anything, and that what we make time for is a good indicator of what is important to us. I believe in energy--we can and do actively choose what we put our energy toward, and what we don't. Even by passively "not" doing something, we're making a clear energetic choice about that thing. When I notice myself spending my energy on things like too much computer time, I try to see what's going on for me that would cause me to make that choice. And also, to be compassionate about that with myself and try to make an active choice, whether it is to continue to goof off or to do something else.)

And of course, I endeavor to be more confident. Sometimes I am, sometimes it seems like the hardest goal I've ever set. Bah.

Most importantly--I'm headed out of town (AGAIN) to see Great Big Sea this week! I'm afeared for my wordcount, but utterly stoked to see the b'ys again. And this time, I will be without pain medication in my system, woo! Plus, extra writing time in San Diego, I hope, as my mom wants to stay an extra day and tool around. Hopefully I can talk her into dropping me at a beachside coffee shop for a couple hours :D

Cue the Bean Man

  • Nov. 7th, 2009 at 11:00 AM
A writer on one of my groups was kind enough to guide me to this article on the writing process. It's interesting and a little frightening to see what lengths a writer may go to to get something on the page.

I won't bore you with a description of my so-called 'process'.

Whenever I think of anything like the creative method, though, I remember a film from Bell Labs that came out some time in the 60's which was shown, as an educational aid, for years afterwards at the schools. It illustrated the process of plant growth. At the time they made the film, they were not sure how a plant translated carbon monoxyde into oxygen, so they illustrated it with a shifty bean-shaped animated character. He wore a little black artists beanie and when the moment came to make oxygen, he stepped into a dark room, drew the shades and did the magic.

I'm stuck. Where the hell is the Bean Man?

out of gas

  • Nov. 2nd, 2009 at 9:50 PM
If anyone is wondering where I am or why I haven't answered an email or responded to a poke on facebook, it's not personal. I've achieved such absolute over-bookage in my life that I look at my calendar on the wall and have trouble breathing.

Thanks to lj user=alex_beacroft by the way for telling me about the cool new software that will allow me to post in multiple locations simultaneously. As soon as I have ten minutes, I'm going to figure out how to use it.

I've just been really pleased to find a review by Jenre at Well Read, of "The Elegant Corpse" which was released 18 months ago. It's a stunning review. I came into the kitchen after reading it and the young man foraging in my refrigerator told me my cheeks were pink. check it out http://jenre-wellread.blogspot.com/2009/10/review-elegant-corpse-by-am-riley.html

And that's it. I've got to go babysit a render.

From a Proofer's (and Editor's) POV

  • Oct. 31st, 2009 at 12:19 AM
As an editor, I have several pet peeves. Almost none of them are spelling related, since I'm dyslexic. I take that back. One major spelling thing. RUN SPELL CHECK. DUH? Not really. My authors and critique partners who can spell tend to turn spell check off. They find all the little red lines distracting. Hence their MS come to me with far more wrong spellings than my dyslexic authors. (I get the dyslexic authors 'cause we understand one another.)

When you run spell check, add your characters' names to your database ONLY ONCE. Then you'll know when you've spelled them wrong the next six times. Keep a list of the words yuo [like now-TH] routinely misspell and do a search for them. Mine's every form of thou words. Thought, though, through... I know the meanings, I routinely type them wrong. Oh, and YOU.

Other than that, I'm at war with repetitive sentence structure. N-V, N-V-N, ad infinitum. He opened the door. He looked out into the hallway. He took a step. He fell over dead. (I cheered.) Some variety, please!

Since I was happily on a rant, I decided to ask our proofing loop about their favorite pet peeves.

M: What are some of your pet peeves? What makes you cringe?

Lil: From a proofer's POV? Well... honestly? OK, here goes.

Words that are two words put together as one, or hyphenated incorrectly. It irks me when "alright" is used instead of "all right." Numbers used when they should not have been, i.e., 7th grade instead of seventh grade.

There's also incorrect word usage. Inconspicuous in place of conspicuous, "then" instead of "than" (and vice versa). Improper usage of tense also bugs me. "There were also the other ten people who were murdered." Or maybe it's the way the past tense usage is worded. I asked that it be changed to "had been murdered."

Maybe I'm too picky. Maybe I'm not picky enough. Some things, like those I named, just irk me to no end. I've seen books from big New York publishers that I've found so many errors in, it's not even funny.

OK, guess I need to get off my soapbox!

Pat: Spelling/word confusion errors. Loose/lose, altar/alter, their/they're/there, hear/here, from/form, though/thought, through/thru/threw, bared/barred, lightning/lightening, of/off, definitely/defiantly and then/than are often confused.

Another real pet peeve is repetitive words -- i.e. and, that, but. I almost always make my authors remove at least half if not more of them. I hate those words. I'm not crazy about run on sentences either. Recently I edited a book containing the word and over 2000 times, the word that almost 3000 times... I asked one author if he thought his characters were bobble heads. All they did was nod, smile, or grin -- he had a tag for every dialogue.

Vicki: While on dialogue tags -- chuckled, giggled, sighed, snorted...

Or when an author only knows two dialogue tags -- said and asked.

Jean: All the aforementioned errors, plus:

Some authors try to use words that are not in their vocabulary. That is, they know there's a word that means what they want to say, but they're not quite sure which word it is. They end up using a word that sounds similar, but isn't quite it. For instance, "vicious" for "viscous" or "lathe" for "lave." Ouch! I can always tell when an author went to the thesaurus and looked for different words to mean "sexy" -- the new words are used in a way that is tone-deaf to their connotations.

(A final comment on tone-deafness to word meanings -- I hate the word "smirk" and I think authors use it way too much. To me, it means a little quirk of the lips with a malicious intent. Many authors use it as a synonym for "smile.")

I've pretty much decided that some people are gifted with storytelling talent, and others are gifted with a sense of language, but that only a very few people have both.

Lea: You have no idea how many times I have come across that problem. I think it is worsened by people's dependence upon spell check. I have noticed that if a word is not in spell check's dictionary, it will make suggestions that can be really off track. And if you take its word for it, you can come up with some really weird sentences. I came across one where the nun went up the hill and entered the "convenient." Yikes! Another problem with spell check is that if you misspell a word, and the word you accidentally formed is a real word, spell check will NOT catch it.

I'm one of those people who has absolutely no ability to tell a story. But the wrong word stops me like running into a brick wall. All my books have places where I felt it necessary to "fix" them.

Christina: I agree completely with all the previous posts about peeves, especially the homophones/homonyms. Also, the dreaded run-on sentence. And they..., and then she..., and..., and... ACK! Occasionally they work. Most times they don't.

Em: I'd love to see what other proofers say about what they found in a book. There are times when I know something is wrong, and I know how to fix it, but I don't remember the grammatical term for why it was wrong. Also, I'll think something like "improper use of a possessive," and then comment "Put an apostrophe there," or "Take out this apostrophe," or just write it correctly in the comment. I figure it's probably pretty clear why I've marked a grammatical mistake.

One that I seem to be seeing relatively often lately is "free reign" instead of "free rein" -- it's a term related to horseback riding or carriage driving, thus the use of reins. Another one that gets me is "may" instead of "might." Even if much of the rest of the story is in past tense, the author goes into present tense there. Sometimes it could more or less work in the context, sometimes not so much. Like, "He may be small, but he was feisty" just isn't right.

Another one I've seen a couple of times is "climatic" instead of "climactic." In the context, it had to be relating to "climax," not "climate." There's always lie/lay/had lain versus lay/laid/had laid -- and of course lie/lied/had lied. I've seen some where the writer put an unneeded "ed," like "she decided to sneaked" instead of "she decided to sneak."

I don't remember an exact example, but I've seen several uses of passive verbs which completely altered the meaning of the sentence. I do remember "The door was opened" either being "The door was open" or "The door opened." It wasn't really clear which one the author meant.


Chrissie: I have a few peeves.
You can add AS and THEN to Pat's list of repetitive words. I've had over 400 of each in a single manuscript.
"Letting/allowing" body parts to move.
Body parts moving on their own.
Eyes meeting.
The womb featuring heavily during sex.
Shattered into a million pieces (yes, still used).
"Core" being used instead of "pussy."
"Uttered" as a speech tag.
I had one author who insisted "he bore his teeth" was correct...
[M: Maybe they were removable? And heavy?]

Jess: A pet peeve of mine that I've been seeing a lot of lately (at another press, not so much at Changeling) is unnecessary quotation marks. I've had authors who put every cliché, idiom, figure of speech, or word they just want to emphasize in quotation marks. This really "drives me crazy" and makes it hard to "keep my head in the game" and focus on the more "important" issues. ;-) On a related note, have you guys seen this Web site? http://www.unnecessaryquotes.com/ -- Check out the "Greatest Hits" list on the right side of the page.

Kym from Loose Id: The two biggest problems I have at LI that weren't mentioned already are incorrectly attributed (or dangling) participles and simultaneous action. For the first, an example is "Unbuttoning his shirt, her eyes looked up to see his reaction." There's more than one thing wrong with that sentence, but for this example, it's that her eyes are unbuttoning his shirt, not her. I'd suggest something like "As she unbuttoned his shirt, she looked up to see his reaction" or "Unbuttoning his shirt, she looked up to see his reaction." For the second, a good example would be "He raced to get her a drink, returning immediately with a glass of water." As written, he's running away and coming back at the same time, which isn't possible. It should be something like "After racing to get her a drink, he returned with a glass of water" or "He raced to get her a drink, then returned with a glass of water."

Otherwise, I wholeheartedly agree with the ambiguously moving body parts, or the idea that our body parts have a will of their own, e.g., "Her hands reached up to touch his face." They might have, but it wasn't of their own volition. It's that she lifted her hands to touch his face. And finally, you shouldn't rely on spell check, and whenever possible, turn off the Auto Correct feature. In my experience, it introduces more errors than it fixes.

This article did make me happy. What a nice way to start the day.


Bill: One really basic complaint. Manuscripts with no NAME on them. We're not really all that psychic. And commas. People really need to learn how to use commas. Or  how, not, to use, commas.

Treva: Oooh! Oooh! I got one, though it isn't a proofing error. Manuscript submissions with no email address on them. We can usually hunt down an address but it wastes precious time in accepting. Can that count? [Sure! It's an editing error, isn't it? -M]

Margaret Riley
Dyslexic Editor par excellence
Changeling Press LLC


With commentary
from Treva, as always...

On the eve of NaNoWriMo

  • Oct. 28th, 2009 at 2:39 PM
Ok, we're still a few days off, but it's close enough (and taking up most of my free mental cycles), so here's a very belated update.

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, but I have been far more busy than usual. I'm now working 3 jobs (total weekly hours varies, but it's in the range of 46+), and still nowhere near my old City salary. The income is worrying, but the work is enjoyable, so things are peachy as far as that goes.

August was the month of many concerts. I caught Journey, Depeche Mode and Def Leppard - the latter two within a week of each other. Mode was incredible, as always, and we ended up scoring a major seat upgrade when tickets didn't sell as well as they anticipated. We started w/ $40 nosebleed seats, but got upgraded to lower bowl seats at the last minute. We had a direct, uninterrupted view of the stage, and the crowd was rockin'. Def Leppard was pretty straightforward and mostly a greatest hits show. I was hoping for a few tracks from the more recent albums, but they stuck to the radio hits. Journey was surprisingly wonderful, and rekindled my love of cheesy 80s arena rock.

September went by in a blur of work, work, and more work. I decided that I wasn't going to ML for NaNo this year, but got involved with some other behind-the-scenes stuff from NaNo Central. I'm also going to the Night of Writing Dangerously, courtesy of The Editorial Department. I cannot wait! San Francisco is one of my favorite cities. I probably won't be able to do much sightseeing, but I'm hoping to at least get to the Coit tower.

This month has been even busier than last with the addition of job #3. (I officially start this Friday, but had the interview and taking up time before). I caught the U2 show in Phoenix last week and came away pretty meh. It was visually lovely, but left me flat. Then I saw the youtube broadcast on Sunday and reverted to my 13-year old fangirl self. I'm also utterly in love w/ Adam Clayton's purple sparkle Fender bass. Purple glitter + a pearl pickguard? Swoon. Yes, it's the little things in life that make me happy. I had forgotten how much better U2 is live. The studio albums tend to feel flat to me, but once you see it live, it...well, comes to life.

NaNoWriMo - yes, I'm back for novel #8 this year. I'm going to be writing a story set in the Highlander universe (the TV show, specifically). It's an idea that's been kicking around since early this year, and seems like it will be a fun project. Two of the women at work are taking the NaNo plunge, too, so I've got partners in crime. Muahahahaha. btw - i've still got a couple of pack of the NaNo shield stickers from last year, so if you want some, just find me @ a write in and ask. They're in my computer bag, so I'll have 'em with me all the time.

It's cool and windy out today - in the 50s with a very cutting breeze. Feels just like Thanksgiving to me, and now I'm craving a warm, steamy house, and the smell of savory things cooking. Despite having a NaNoWriMo with no paid holidays (I used to have up to 4 paid days off every November), I'm rather looking forward to this year. I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving, too. I've perfected my art of turkey cooking, and mom's stuffing is always incredible.

And, since I can't let a post go by without sharing some pictures, here's some of my latest shots...

A place I housesit has a fountain in the front yard. When the fountain is off, bees flock to the fountain for a drink. I took my chances w/ the stingers and spent about a half hour taking a ton of shots of the bees.

IMG_9772

Same house, back door - a walking stick bug.

IMG_9794

Patches is settling right in at home

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Pixie has taken refuge behind my running shoes. She spent a couple days nestling her chin into the backs of them as seen here. The cats sit at opposite ends of the hallway and stare each other down. Then Patches starts growling and Pixie charges, chasing her back under mom's bed. Rinse, repeat.

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Finally, more fun at the Desert Museum, including some spectacular raptor shots courtesy of a docent out in front.

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(the whole set is at http://www.flickr.com/photos/midwinter-az/sets/72157622530793459/)

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